They may be compared unfavorably to other children. Sometimes, paradoxically, that message is communicated by parents who are always telling their children they are great, even when they are messing up.The message that comes through, then, is that it does not matter to the parents whether or not their child is doing well.Having low self-esteem is not just a global sense of being worthless; it manifests itself in action—or in inaction--whenever the child--the grown child—attempts to do anything.
A woman responded anonymously to my most recent blog post by saying, “…I really have nothing to offer.
I can’t see why anyone would want to marry me.” Then she goes on to add, “I’ve been treated like a loser throughout my life (starting with my mother, who abused me.) Now I can’t shake this ‘loser’ mentality.
I feel inferior to every single person I meet; and, of course, that leads to people treating me like crap…” She goes on to say that that “sense of worthlessness is “slowly destroying” her.
I know nothing about this woman’s age or circumstances.
When these feelings are severe, that individual becomes a failure.
Feeling profoundly pessimistic, he/she will not try to accomplish anything worthwhile.
Anything challenging will seem to be too difficult. Such persons are also likely to feel guilty besides feeling inadequate and ineffectual. They are suffering from a chronic, low-level depression which does not respond to anti-depressant drugs, although psychiatric practice being what it is nowadays, they are likely to be given a trial of these drugs.
I do not know for certain that she is a woman, except that she describes herself as “attractive (not stunning, but decent,)” and “stunning” is a word not usually used in connection with men.
The state of mind she is describing is what is referred to commonly as “low self-esteem,” which, in her case, seems to have reached devastating proportions.