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It wasn’t love at first Tweet, but the attraction our conversations and Google searching generated caught me off guard. Here’s a word you’ll never read about in the more restrained online love stories – masturbation. Later that day, I woke up to a text message from him.

I didn’t think it would go any further than an unrequited crush. I mean, how else are two people – separated by thousands of miles but who nevertheless share immeasurable bursts of affection and passion – supposed to connect with each other? “I love the sounds you make,” he wrote, and he wasn’t talking about my Martha Generic impersonation.

Like so many lusty online romances, masturbation was the glue that held our long-distance flirtatious bond together.

I met a man online who lived on the other side of the country.

We were technologically inseparable for two months before I flew out to spend a week exclusively in his company.

In some respects, the week contained everything I imagined the relationship would be… After about twenty minutes, he excused himself for dinner plans. But he surprised us both by calling me back later that night at two a.m.

but there’s also the reality of how meeting him actually turned out. my time, initiating a pleasantly amiable conversation that morphed into phone sex which lasted until nearly five in the morning.

yeah, that plan lasted all of five days before we met.

At first, I rationalized my guilt away: It’s only phone sex! But it was undeniably the most intimate contact I was allowing myself to share with another person during this self-induced bout of celibacy.

And slowly, over weeks, he was learning more from me than just dirty talk.

We talked all of the time, it seemed, through every medium we could get our hands on: instant messages, text messages, Facebook, Twitter, Skype, cell phone calls, work phone calls.

I told him my secrets, my worries, the mean things people said to me at work (“There’s a supermodel buried in there somewhere!

”) and the kind words of encouragement from others that I refused to let sink into my damaged psyche.

He told me things, too: his insecurities, his anxieties, stories about his failed marriage and his ex-girlfriends and the friends he suspected didn’t really have his best interests at heart (he was right about them).


  1. B4U-Act calls pedophiles “minor-attracted people.” The organization’s website states its purpose is to, “help mental health professionals learn more about attraction to minors and to consider the effects of stereotyping, stigma and fear.” In 1998 The APA issued a report claiming “that the ‘negative potential’ of adult sex with children was ‘overstated’ and that ‘the vast majority of both men and women reported no negative sexual effects from childhood sexual abuse experiences.” Pedophilia has already been granted protected status by the Federal Government. Hate Crimes Prevention Act lists “sexual orientation” as a protected class; however, it does not define the term.

  2. And along the way describing the history of the readers pull out of it and burn the pages.

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  4. (Maybe we'll get a preview at Rodeo Houston.) He divorced his wife last year, so expect a bit of seriousness to slip into the mix. He's topped the country charts with five songs, including "Alone With You," "The One That Got Away" and "Beachin'." His country-rap is hardly traditional but nevertheless appeals to a wide range of listeners. His high-wattage smile and perfect hair triggered endless screams during past appearances.

  5. [The Judge] would say, "Remove the toothpick from between your teeth," and [the people] would answer, "Remove the beam from between your eyes." (Talmud - Bava Batra 15b) The 400-year span of the Judges began after the death of Joshua, who conquered and divided the Land of Israel, and ended with the establishment of the monarchy with King Saul. I must make them suffer and cleanse them with famine." (Midrash - Ruth Rabba, Intro.

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