— As a dating coach for single women over 40, one of the first questions I ask a client is, “What’s your biggest problem in dating? I recently asked a group of about 300 single, divorced, and widowed women over 40 what their biggest problems were in dating. They want to be appreciated for more than their bodies.
READ: How to Tell If You're Dating a Narcissist Read on for nine priceless tips that will help you stay positive in the dating game. Don't Fall Victim to Scarcity Thinking There is an abundance of single men your age, and they are easily accessible on Tinder, e Harmony, and even IRL (In Real Life).
Many are actively looking to get married or remarried, so make sure they can find you.
Browse for singles events in your area, and get online with a dating profile. As an over-40 womann you have the great pleasure of dating men who are also 40-plus.
Here’s what they said, followed by my thoughts on how they might overcome these dating problems and attract their best relationship. The other B, the brain, is just as important, especially as you’re getting to know a woman. Anyone who’s looking for a true connection is more likely to find it with someone closer to their age. ◊♦◊ People in big cities say it’s hard to meet anyone.
In terms of attraction, when you connect deeply at this level, attraction can grow. Ladies, you can’t do anything about the men who want a midlife-crisis-Barbie-Doll. ◊♦◊ Guys, if you’re comparing all the women you date to your ex, or you’re still blaming her for your problems, please get therapy and work this stuff out. Look beyond degrees and discover whether the person you’re dating has character and integrity. People in remote cities say they have no one to date.
So stop looking for super hot chemistry and butterflies when you first meet. Ignore those men, and seek out the guys who want a relationship with someone they can relate to. A mature woman who values herself doesn’t want to date a man who’s a victim or stuck in the past. ◊♦◊ Guys, correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe there’s a ‘lid for every pot’, a body type for every guy. Wherever you live, I promise you are not geographically undesirable (hello online dating, Face Time, and airplanes).
It’s not likely to happen like that at this age, and on the rare occasions when it does, the relationship is usually based on nothing more than lust. Some men like thin women, some like curvier figures. A man who never graduated college might be brilliant (Steve Jobs). ◊♦◊ Just about any problem you have in dating can be overcome. You don’t have to speak multiple languages, live in a big city, or have a perfect body. Dating problems begin to disappear when you overcome your insecurities and limiting beliefs about the opposite sex.
Would you rather crash and burn or have a slow sizzle that bursts into hot flames over time? The men I’ve spoken to care less about how much a woman weighs and more about how much a woman loves her body. So, if you’re a larger woman, take good care of your body and flaunt it, sista! I know many really smart people, including my son, who don’t have high degrees, and many people with a Ph. There are fewer dating issues when you can communicate your wants and needs clearly and have confidence and self-respect.
When you have a positive approach to dating, it’s just a matter of time before you find someone special to enhance your already happy life.
Despite what you might have heard, a 40-plus woman doesn't need special strategies or tricks to date for marriage.
What worked at 25 is what will work at 35, 45, 55 and beyond — you just need to remember that you truly are a catch!