Just because I'm on the slippery side of 45 doesn't mean it's all over for me. I have two other women I'm writing to right now and I'm not sure I can handle a third? There are no dirty socks to pick up after, but there is a downside. Affairs is our weekly column about the current dating scene in and around Los Angeles -- and finding romance in a wired world. I signed up on the dating site Plenty of Fish last year, and while I had my doubts, I was still optimistic about finding my soul mate — otherwise, why do it at all? It's taken me a while, but I realize now that this living fantasy is one of the perks of being a self-confident woman "of a certain age," and one should embrace it like the feminist superhero that you are. In the 1990 movie "White Palace," a young James Spader moves to New York in the finale to declare his love to the much older Susan Sarandon, but in real life, would James really have done that? In Hollywood, one can dream, but in America, the jury's still out. Past columns and submission guidelines are at latimes.com/laaffairs Throwing a line into the cyber-fishing pond for a date on a Friday night is as scary as it is (too) easy. Sure, I was originally hoping to find someone to grow old with, but, if the gods hand you a lemon, make lemon meringue.
"I had to change my age to be in the right category to meet you."We bantered back and forth for quite a bit. "OK, call me on Sunday then, and make a date." "Ha! He paid for dinner and I was happy — three bottles of sake happy.
The next day, Saturday, my curiosity got the better of me and I texted him. We ate sushi and drank lots of sake, and he started to look more his age.
Not many serial killers from New Hampshire, I reasoned.
" We laughed heartily, but in my gut I wanted this to be true more than I wanted to admit. I casually checked the site for several months, replying to some, ignoring others and trying not to be devastated by unanswered messages. Lives: Carson." One profile picture was a selfie with alluring baby blue bedroom eyes that made me suddenly hit the "Send Message" button: "Hi," I wrote.
I've entered "The Big Bang" territory: He's Leonard Hofstadter, with Sheldon's social graces, Bernadette's looks and Howard's moves. divorced and a single mom, but still with a soft spot for smart geeks.
"I'm sensing that you want me to be there," he wrote. "I sat on it for three hours but I was secretly smiling. PCH and 7th in Long Beach, at 8 pm," I finally replied. A Gen-X, computer-whiz engineer working ridiculously long hours in the aerospace industry.
I played very hard to get (because I am), but he ignored it. " I thought to myself, "That will surely get rid of him." But Sunday afternoon arrived, and lo and behold, a text popped up: "Where do you want to meet? Affairs columns, and submission guidelines"Meet me at Sapporo Sushi. So, what Cracker Jack prize did I get, you might wonder?
I'd been through the wringer these past six years, first with an on-again, off-again long-distance relationship with an old flame I'd reconnected with through Facebook.
After that, there were others I'd met in real life — a widower, a couple of recently divorced men.