When you’re finished with Part 1, you can read Part 2 here. Anyway, MDM (Mr Disappearing Man) and I had something really good going – or so I thought. We were the same age and from a similar background, had loads in common, got along famously, had great chemistry and seemed to want the same things in life. While, naturally, we didn’t always see eye-to-eye, we never had one argument. I have my theories as to why he vanished so fast it made my head spin (in more ways than one), but this isn’t about him. How am I ever going to feel happy and safe in a relationship when the guy could shock me to my core at any minute?
Your job is to check in with him and find out whether or not the two of you are on the same page. You have to be prepared to walk away when you find out he doesn’t want what you want. Of course, there are times to be ‘cool’ and patient.
And it’s not always appropriate to have a full-on conversation about what you want. We know men hate it.) Sometimes, it’s best to just read the signals and act accordingly.
But what this advice did for me was made me feel empowered.
It wasn’t long before Marni had my email address and, over three days, I received the three 35min videos. What could she possibly tell me that I didn’t already know? Stay true to what you want, and if the relationship isn’t progressing, move on.
You see, even though things were fairly hunky dory with MDM, I could feel the relationship not progressing.
At the time, I decided to put it down to only being two months in, but my gut knew better.
(Damn guts – they’re almost always right.) Even at the two-month mark, I felt as though we should have been a little further along. Unbeknownst to me, MDM was what Marni calls a ‘Mr Quality Casual’.
(No wonder I didn’t know how to handle him – I’d never dated a ‘Mr Quality Casual’ before.) I don’t want to give it away, because she explains it so well in the video, but basically he’s a guy who does almost everything right – except he’s looking to keep things somewhat casual.
For whatever reason, he’s not in a position to offer you a full-blown relationship.