(A woman wrote to share with me that, in all ways but legally, she is equally married to both a man and a woman.
She had been my best friend for years, and we’ve always been closer than sisters. And then there was a LOT of open and honest communication, of course.
People used to always comment on how close we were, but we never realized that could be sexual, too. We got along incredibly, the three of us, and at some point, my best friend realized she had feelings for me. ” A lot of talking, a lot of thinking, all of us talking together as well as doing a lot of thinking on our own, individually. There has to be with any successful couple, and so with three people, even more so.
Both of us were raised to not even be aware that was a possibility. She was the one who began the conversation about, “What if . I realized I had feelings for her (and for him), all feelings that were completely buried (since it was impossible to love either them like that, right? It was very important to us that every single person was on the exact same page, or there was no way we were doing anything. We really tried to look at this from a number of different angles, including the potential problems we could have, and kept feeling okay about taking another step forward.
It was later that we discovered there was a term for what we were.
If we need a term, we consider ourselves “poly-fidelitous,” which is what poly’s call those who love more than one person in a long-term, faithful kind of way.
Some people consider themselves polyamorous because they believe they need and/or want to be in multiple relationships at any given time. We all feel we could be satisfied with just one person.
It’s just that we fell in love with two, pretty much all at the same time . and we discovered (through lots of open and honest communication!
) that we were all not just okay with it, but that it was something we wanted.
Truthfully, we don’t think of ourselves as polyamorous. I was a (divorced) single mother, and they were a happily married couple.
After my divorce, I had the joy of finally being free from an abusive marriage.
I was supporting four children with very little support, but managing. We all felt very excited when we realized that we were in love and that we all wanted the same thing (a long-term committed relationship as three).