This is so true, and it doesn’t stop in the 30s, either.
I’ll be 42 in a couple of weeks, and in two years of online dating, I’d say about 70% of the people who write to me are fifty and over, often MUCH over.
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How does a 56 year old man find a good younger woman that would be interested in marriage and willing to have children by him? Most good sites line me up with the 50 year olds and most 36 year olds tend to think I’m a dirty old man.
I know that such a person exists but can’t find a good avenue to find her. Thank you, Dale, for acknowledging a few very common truths from the world of online dating.
You’re a successful older man who wants to date a woman significantly younger than him. Needless to say, this goes for ALL people who are dating online. We want what WE want, even if what we want is unrealistic.
And then you, the 36-year-old woman, post your profile, and what happens? It doesn’t stop older men from writing, but at least you don’t have to explain yourself to a man who doesn’t want to hear your perfectly valid explanation. But you must understand that any woman you desire online has choices. She can go out with a cute, successful man who is 35. To find out who IS interested, try Match.com’s Reverse Match.
You get BOMBARDED by emails from fifty and sixty something Baby Boomers looking to trade up in the world. Yet these men keep on writing – talking about how they’re young for their age, how they’d love to have children, how they have everything in life except a good younger woman. Understand, Dale, there is nothing wrong with you being attracted to a fertile and youthful woman in her 30’s. Instead of searching through hundreds of thirtysomething women who wouldn’t give you a second look, Reverse Match shows you who IS open to dating a 56-year-old man.
You double check your profile to see if there’s something you wrote that’s attracting these older men. If you’re 36, you’re pretty darned confused by these emails. By the time the kid is in high school, Dad will be 74! There’ll be fewer numbers, but at least you won’t be wasting your time. There are a lot of amazing ones out there and they are criminally underappreciated.
By the time you have your first child, you’ll be 38 or 39. That’s not the kind of life you imagined for yourself or your children. Let’s just hope that they don’t discriminate against men their own age.
Websites generally attempt to pair singles with matches who are demographically similar. We’re all so dazzled by looks and youth that we pass up amazing people who are a much better fit. The woman who graduated high school in the same year as you? “I can’t help what I’m attracted to,” say all of my clients – both male and female. I do know, however, that as long as they close their minds to dating people who are age-appropriate, they’re really going to struggle with online dating.
Most 36-year-old women think you’re a dirty old man. This does not mean that you’re not a great guy with a ton to give and the purest intentions. I know you were looking for advice, Dale, so I don’t want to leave you without it. One, sign up with one of those successful men/younger women sites.