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When a woman says she's bi, it makes her more desirable to men.

But few celeb men are out as bi—and you never see two guys making out in a bar to get women to pay attention.

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Since his divorce he'd mostly dated men, so he'd gone with "gay" over "bi" when we met, but deep down that's what he is: bisexual.

I was not entirely surprised, and I was definitely not disappointed. Early in our relationship, which got super serious, super fast, I was anxious: I worried Neal would change his mind, say that he was actually truly 100 percent gay after all, and leave me for a man. A man who says he's bisexual is gay, straight, or lying.) Another part of me worried whether a bisexual guy could ever really be monogamous.

Also, didn't being with a man who was interested in men I just wasn't that familiar with bi guys.

Bi women are practically mainstream: Megan Fox, Lady Gaga, Anna Paquin, Jessie J, and Evan Rachel Wood, to name only a few, have all spoken openly about being bisexual.

Ritch Savin-Williams, professor of developmental psychology at Cornell University, who has done extensive research into arousal patterns of gay and bisexual individuals, puts it simply: "Bisexual men are attracted to both sexes.

They have variations in how much they lean toward women or men." It's important to note that Savin-Williams, like most social scientists, differentiates between sexual orientation and sexual behavior.

"So a guy could be attracted to 70 percent men and 30 percent women," he says, "but still meet a woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with and be monogamous. In retrospect, I think we would have been OK even if it had been a man.

So while I was attracted to him, I figured he would just be my gay best friend.

Then, one night, we wound up in bed together, and let's just say that he did not act like a gay best friend usually acts.

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